First on Medium

This is my first blog on medium. Maybe in the coming days you can find film reviews, random rants, anything and everything maybe. As a person who often fail to keep consistency, I doubt the sustainability of this space. I can’t stay in a space for long. The boredom clock strikes when I plan to stay anywhere. This realization hit me soon after I graduated from senior school two years back. The place I am interning, I want to get rid of that place as soon as possible. We signed up for a three month contract, and now it’s around nine months. I feel bad for them. They have been paying me for so long. While I am writing this I search for new vocab, but I don’t have any, it’s just the same old words. Haven’t been learning anything for a long time. So yeah, talking about interning I want to get out of that place because I’ve been staying there for so long. Worldly blues hit me often and then shrinking to yourself is the only choice, but I can’t because I have responsibilities and I can’t escape to a place to regret later. Frightened of regret too.

But no matter what I do, what we do, regret is there, always. you go with the current, you regret. Choose not to flow, you regret. Some years later you will be standing on a mountain top , recollecting all the way you came, every choice you made, to live the life you want, you will regret as the world on the other side beckons you so badly. To achieve. you feel you have not achieved much. you regret for every choice you made. life was not for this. that wasn’t the purpose of your life. But you can’t undo it, anymore. nothing can be changed. days, years, and ways are far far far behind, you can’t go back. And you wish you followed them, that you must have worked like them and now you could have been them. The materialistic world shines in all it’s mighty to stab you with the regret.

And if you followed them, do you think the case would be similar? yes. you wish you hadn’t followed them. Life apparently would not be about the golds you mined, connections you faked, masks you worn to achieve that next step to be on the top. Meaningless the whole life seems.

A revival . Of my words, thoughts, conversations, and ideas. Not letting the words and ideas die inside me. Creating a space so that they can suffocate here. I hope this space never finds a human trace.

How long, I don’t know. But it will be here forever. This space will be here.